A Blade and A Scepter
by GoldenDiscord
Summary: Elsa has decided to take a little vacation to the mountains. A vacations she's planned to end in suicide, if she's brave enough. With that being said, who's gonna take over the throne to Arendale? Probably Anna. Well this should be interesting...
1. Chapter 1

"Elllssaaa!" I heard Anna's voice call from down the hall.

I sigh as a smile creeps onto my face.

Anna comes skipping into my room and stops at the door way. She hangs onto the edge of the door and swings as she says, "I'm so bored!"

"Congratulations." I say playfully.

"No! No congratulations! I need something to do!" Anna whines.

"Anna, I'd love to play with you ,or whatever you wish to call it, but I'm kinda busy right now." I tell her.

Anna cocks her head. "Busy doing what?" She asks skeptically.

I gesture to the suitcase and clothes gathered on my bed. "I'm packing!" I explain.

For a moment she looks confused. Then it hits her. "Oh yea! I totally forgot you were going to the mountains for the week!" Anna giggles. "Why are you going again?"

"My advisors think it'll be a good chance to clear my head and just relax. Get some of this...stress out of my system."

Anna nods gravely. She tries to hide the concern and sorrow but i can still sense it. Why would my sister feel this way at my words? Well, I'll tell you. As you can guess, being a Queen is pretty hard. You've got responsibilities and all those people looking up to you. It's frightening to know that even the smallest little decision I make could change my kingdom. It's a lot of hard work. And Lately, I've realized I'm not the best person qualified to do it. I feel awful because I was born a royal. The gods should have known I'd never fit into this role, especially not with my ice powers. Sometimes I think I was just put on this earth for a cheap laugh. Like the only reason i'm alive is to be a joke. The girl who never wins. The girl who is a failure. And I will take that feeling to my grave. Because I know all to well it's true.

I'm pretty sure the rest of Arendale knows hat to. And they don't need to see the scars on my arms for proof. My advisors noticed how down I've seemed lately. bUt Anna was really the only one who really cared. We both knew she knew what's going on. WHat I'm doing in my room when it's dark. She's been trying to cheer my up lately but it's not really working. Every time I see her I keep thinking I'll do something crazy and hurt her. Again. I've already nearly killed her twice. A third time would push me over the edge.

"Are you sure I can't come with you?" Anna a hopefully for the a millionth time.

I laugh. "Anna, I told you, my advisors think I should spend my time alone. I'd love to have some quality time with you, though." I tell her.

"Well I hope your va-ca actually does what it's supposed to." Anna said.

I nod. "So do I."

Anna ran over to me and hugged me. I smile and return the embrace. I can't help but think this will be probably the last time i'll get to spend time with her. You see, when I agreed to go on this little journey to the mountains...well, I never exactly planned on coming back. I'm sure no one would really mind, though. People would probably miss having a ruler. They'd get over my death eventually. The one person I could think of who wouldn't get over it was the one hugging me. I felt guilty, of course, for planning this. But i feel like it'll do everyone some good.

But all too soon it was over. Anna pulled away from the hug and excused herself for something. Princessly duties, I'm sure but i wish she didn't have to leave.

**So what do you think? Is it any good, should I continue? Leave me a review, please! **


	2. Chapter 2

**thank you everyone for their lovely reviews! they make me happy. **

The ride to the mountains was long and tedious and never seemed to end. I felt like I needed it to be over soon so I could do what must be done. I couldn't blame anyone the ride was so long. I had requested to go to the mountain farthest away from society. I knew I couldn't be disturbed there.

Suddenly the carriage stopped and I knew the tripw as over. Someone opened the door of the carriage for me and helped me out. I thanked him.

I gathered up my luggage and start to walk but i am quickly stopped.

"Your majesty! you don't inte d to go alone, do you?" The driver asks.

"Yes, I am." I say. Why did he ask that?

"Oh but Your Highness, you must take the royal gaurs with you, just in case." He says nervously.

"But they didn't come along." I say confusedly.

Just then another carriage rolls up behind me. I sigh. That must be them.

Three men in military uniforms step out of the carriage.

I know they can't come. That'd ruin the entire purpose for coming here. Not only will I be unable to follow through on my plans but I won't get the solitude my advisors suggested.

There was a certain feeling I got. A feeling where i was so happy that everything was finally going my way. But then something came and smashed that joy. And I literally feel down. like my skin and soul were both sagging so everyone could see how depressed i am. That at feeling came about right now. I can't let them go with me.

I stand up tall and try to act confident. "Gentlemen, I appreciate your willingness to protect me but I cannot have you come up to the mountains with me." I say. I'm surprised at how confident and bold I sound.

The men look at each other confusedly.

"But, Your Highness, what if someone come and tries to harm you?" one of the asks.

"Just because I am a woman does not mean i cannot defend myself." I say forming a snowflake with my hand.

Everyone nodded. They probably forgot for a spilt second that I had my ice powers.

"Besides my advisors say I need time alone." I add.

I knew I was going to win this. They couldn't fight against me. I was the Queen. For now, at least.

No one else responded. I smiled, a rarity for me, and picked up my bags. Then I finally began walking up to the mountain.

There was a little path that had been made which I followed strictly. I loved being on the mountain. All the snow gathered around on the crisp, sparkling rocks. And the view was incredible. You could see all of Are dale and even a bit of Wesletin. _What a great place to spend my last moments. _I thought.

At the top of the mountain stood a cave. I figured this was a nice place to stop and stay in. As I set down my bags I wonder if I should just get things over with now. I figured now was good a time as any.

I open my suitcase and start going through it. I knew I out the knife I was going to use in a red cloth. I didn't really notice the irony in that until now.

Once I spotted the cloth I just stared at it for a minute. I stared at my future. After a few shaky breathes I reach my hand in to grab the cloth. I try to be careful not to cut my fingers as I pick it up.

I unwrap the cloth and the sun immediately shimmers off the metal.

I take the blade in my hand and sit down. I hadn't decided how I was going to kill myself , yet. I could run the blade through my heart. No, that'd be too messy. And I knew I couldn't bring myself to do that.

I could just cut. My arm till I hit a vein? Who knows how long that'd take. But I had a week. I figured that would be my method and got to work. Well at least i tried. I placed the sharp side of the knife on my wrist but for some reason I couldn't bring myself to slide it across the pale flesh. My breathes came quicker and shorter. My heart was pounding so much I felt it might burst out of my chest. I wish it would so I didn't have to do anything myself. I bit my lip hard. And I don't stop till I taste the awful, metallic taste of blood. I cursed my self for being so cowardly. I knew I would try to work my way out of this. I knew it but I tried not to admit it. I sigh.

I force myself to lightly drag the blade across my skin. That was just proof I could do this. The next cut is deeper. I watch as a bit of blood trickles up from the fresh scar. I've heard most people do this for a release or as a way to take away the pain. But I don't i do this as a punishment. A punishment for being myself. A punishment for being a freak. A punishment for being ugly. A punishment for hating myself. I know I deserve every scar I give myself. That's what keeps my going. That's what brings the knife down harder and deeper.

I can never cut without tear pouring out. I never know why I'm crying. I can't tell if it's from the pain on my wrist or my wishes I could be someone else. I don't dwell on it.

After each cut I stop and look at it for a moment. To see if it drew blood. To see if it actually can be seen. But then I go back and try to make the next cut deeper so people can see this. I want people to know I hate myself as much as they hate me. They finally will know, I think as I let the beautiful pain take over me.

**there you go. Kinda a short chapter but it sorta hit home for me. Yea, I got most of the stuff fro, this chapter from personal experience. Anyway I hope you liked it. Please review! **


	3. Chapter 3

Anna sat on the couch and stared blankly at the wall. She was bored out of her skull. She had been for the whole week. The week was painful and reminded her too much of her past. She was so glad that would all end today. Elsa was supposed to be back at the castle today. She said it'd be some time around noon. It was 1:34. Anna had a feeling that something was wrong. But she tried to push that from her mind.

Anna heard someone knock on the door. She glanced over to see a servant standing in the doorway.

"The royal advisors have requested your presence, You Majesty." He told me.

She didn't expect that. Normally it was Elsa who met up with the advisors. Whatever they had to say must have been important.

Anna follows the servant into the big room where all the royal affairs are taken care of. There was a giant table in the room that might have been able to hold up to 200 people. Anna had only been in there a few times. At the table sat a group of men that she recognized to be the advisors. They were all shouting at each other. It was sort of awkward for Anna to just be standing there. She figured she should just leave, since none of them noticed her anyways.

Almost on cue one of them called the princesses name. In a few seconds the room was silent and everyones eyes were on Anna.

Anna cleared her throat and said, "You wanted to see me?" The room made her words echo.

"Yes, won't you please sit down?" One of them said.

Anna shuffled over to a seat and slowly sat down. The chair was the most uncomfortable thing Anna had ever felt.

The advisors all went around and said there names. There were only five of them so it wasn't hard for Anna to remember them.

"Your probably wondering why we called you here." Lars stated.

Anna nodded.

"Well as you know the queen was supposed to return from her vacation in the mountains this after noon." Gunter stated. "But when the carriage came to pick her up all they found was a letter. It was written by the Queen and...well you may as well read it yourself. Bjorne, pass Princess Anna the letter."

And he did. But Anna didn't want to read it. She knew the words in this letter would change her life. Probably for the worst. But everyone was expecting her to read it. So she took a deep breath and began reading it. It said:

_Dear people of Arendale, _

_After a lot of thought I have realized I am not fit to rule this kingdom. Even if I didn't have my magic I would never be able to continue my parents legacy. I believe it's for he better I am leaving. Please do not try to find me. My mind has been made. _

_Sincerely, _

_Queen Elsa. _

Anna sat there for a minute and just stared at the page. She couldn't wrap her mind around the fact this was real_. _It couldn't have been real, could it? Elsa was going to walk in and announce it was just some sort of joke. But the door remained closed. Like always.

"Why did I have to come her to read this?" Anna asked weakly.

"Well with the queen gone there is the obvious questions of who will take over her position." Artemis explained.

"We figured that since you are after all the spare to the throne you are the one we're looking to." Gunter said.

Anna gasped. A good sister would stand up and shout angry words of how she couldn't believe they wanted to replace her sister. She'd refuse the offer and storm out. But Anna couldn't do that. All her life she had secretly wished to be queen. She was jealous of her sister. But now her dream was finally coming true. She'd be queen and no one could stop her.

**I'm so sorry that was so short! I already have the next chapter written so it'll be up soon. Don't worry he story isn't over yet. Anna needs to figure out what its like to be queen and whatever did happen to Elsa?**

**Thank you everyone who reviewed or favorited or followed my story. I really appreciate your support. But don't stop now, please continue to review! Reviews keep my happy! **


	4. Chapter 4

Before I even open my eyes the first thing i notice is the throbbing in my wrist. I groan. Why do cuts always have to sting as much, if not more, as they do when they're being made? I guess they just want you to know they're there I open my eyes and try to look at them but my arm is covered in bandages. Strange. The next thing i feel is a weird buzzing, light-headed feeling in my head. That's new. It sort of feels nice.

I close my eyes. It's still dark so I must have a little bit of time to sleep still. So I wrap myself tighter in the blanket and snuggle into the bed. Wait what? Aren't I in a cave? I'm supposed to be dead! What's going on? Is this heaven or something? What a crummy way to enter it. I figure it can't be. If it was my arms wouldn't still be painted red under the bandages. The bandages! How did they get there? I open my eyes and bolt up, searching for answers. At first all i see are dark colors and shapes but I force my eyes to focus. Across the bed stands a wooden wardrobe. And on the other side of the room is a desk. This is some sort of bedroom, obviously. But whose? I try to think back at what i last remember. I was cutting in the cave. I had finally hit a vein and i remember blood gushing out of my arm. I felt this weird mix of joy and sorrow. Joy that I'd be dead but sorrow for the same reason.  
As if on cue i heard loud footsteps walking towards the room. I feel my heartbeat quicken and my breathes get shaky. My first thoughts were jumping to the conclusion that whoever was coming was some sort of murder. I hid under the covers. But then i think, why is it so scary if someone kills me? Isn't that what i _wanted _to do myself?It'll be good to die. But at someone else's hand? Probably not the same as suicide.

As i hear the door handle turn and the door creak open i really freak out. I curl up into a little ball and hope whoever this is doesn't see me. But that doesn't mean i don't want to see them. So i maneuver the blanket so i can see who it is. It's dark so i can only make out a large figure, broad shoulder and very tall. Obviously a man. I squint, trying to make out his face. His rugged features are almost familiar.

"Well looks like you finally woke up." A deep voice says. Now it all comes together.

"Kristof? What are you doing here?" I ask him.

"Uh, i live here." He answers awkwardly.

"Oh." I say, a blush forming on my cheeks. "Well then what am I doing here?" I ask.

"Well, it's a long story." He answers.

"I have no where else to be." I reply.

"I was going to tell you anyways." Kristof assures me. "So i was coming back from Arendale and up the great mountain when i saw blood in the snow. And I mean thick blood. So I followed to see where it led. And then I found you in the cave, your wrist in a pool of blood. You were passed out but still alive. i decided to bring you here so you didn't die or get eaten by voltures or something."

It takes a minute to sink in but it doesn't sit well.

"So your telling me i could have died? But you 'saved' me?" I ask trying to remain cool.

"Yeah." He replies.

Great. Just great. If it wasn't for this idiot i would be dead by now. Why would he just assume i wanted to live? Didn't he see the blade? Couldn't he have uessed i wanted to die?

I'm in the midst of coming up with a rude yet witty comment but then he interrupts me and asked what had happened.

It's weird because when no one pays attention to my self-hatred i wish someone would notice. But the minute someone even offers a chance to see my scars or hear of them i just want to cover them u and act like they were never there. I can't tell him i wanted to kill myself. He'll think i'm some kind of nut job.

"I, uh, I don't know. Must have...forgotten? Ya know with the whole passing out thing." I lie. Oh boy this is gonna be awkward. I hope he thinks i'm healthy enough to be out on my own. Soon. i don't think i can spend another day with myself.


End file.
